How And How Not To Ask out your Crush
by Frozen Obsidian
Summary: Want to ask out your crush? Well click on the title and get some Tips from Padfoot and Prongs! Comon' Click the title, you know you wanna. R&R Plz!


Now that I'm older and better at this sort of thing I thought I should repost this story as It was Horrible and Confusing.

I (now known as Jao) presents the Old and recently revived renewed version of:

**How And How Not to ask out Your Crush by Padfoot And Prongs.**

"Why is the title Padfoot and Prongs! It should be Prongs and Padfoot!" Whined Prongs (Also know as James Potter).

"Because Padfoot and Prongs sounds better that's why!" Said Padfoot (Also known as Sirius Black) And laughed.

"No It doesn't!"

"Yes It does!"

"No It Doesn't!"

"IT DOES!"

"No IT DOESN'T!"

"Err Pad-f-f-foot, P-p-prongs, shouldn't you b-be c-continuing your p-presentation?" Squeaked Wormtail. (Also known as Peter Petigrew)

"Stay out of this!" Retorted both Padfoot and Prongs, and without missing a beat, continued their argument.

Wormtail recoiled and turned to hiding behind a conveniently placed bush as they started dueling with wands.

The next day,

"Padfoot. Prongs. Have you learnt your lesson?" Asked Moony (Also known as Remus Lupin) staring intently at the now rainbow-coloured (HA BRITISH SPELLING) haired teens.

"Mooooonnnnnyyyy! Turn our hair back to normal and We'll behave! We SWEAR!" whined the two Maruders at the same time, same tone ,same everything, if I didn't know better I'd swear it was rehearsed. (But of course I know better, I wrote this fic P)

"Okay, Now Begin." said Moony taking out his wand and changing back their hair to their normal colours.

"I, Prongs Will do the How Not to because-" began Prongs.

"He has loads of experience after striking out so many times with Lily Evans" interupted Padfoot laughing.

"I meant Seeing Wormtail fail so miserably Time & Time Again. Padfoot." said Prongs glaring at Padfoot.

Wormtail gave a squeak of protest. Which went ignored, of course.

"But You have to admit I have a point there Prongsie."

"NO I WILL NEVER ADMIT THAT! I NOW DECLARE WAR!!!!" Screamed Prongs.

"FINE!"

"Sit. The presentation Is Not Finished." said Moony glaring at the two which had conjured up swords and were dueling at that moment.

The two shrinked and muttered : "Bossy."

Moony pretended not to hear that except giving a flick of his wand so that both their ears turned long and floppy before they turned back again in a few minutes.

Insert an eep of fright from the two in Three, Two, One...

"EEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!"

Now.

"Now Continue, and another peep I'll let my furry little problem get a little out of hand."

The two 'offenders' glanced at each other nervously and quited down.

"Sorry for the interuption everyone, but all issues have been resolved!" said Prongs.

"Now I bet everyone is wondering how they'll manage to get up here and close to the irresistable me!" shouted Padfoot.

Screams of the delighted and excited fangirls filled the air in their desire to get close to _both _Prongs and Padfoot.

"Well, everyone! Here's how it works!" Shoted Prongs as he conjured up a red goblet that was turning around pieces of paper in it's center, At the foot of it was the word "Girls". Another goblet ,this one blue, appeared with "Boys" engraved at it's base. "I pull out a random piece of paper from the goblet and the person who's name is on the paper will be invited to come onto stage!" Called out Prongs.

"Which one should we do first? BOYS OR GIRLS!?" Screamed Padfoot to the crowd.

"GIRLS!" screamed all the raving fangirls back.

"ALRIGHT! AND THE LUCKY GIRL IS..." shouted Prongs. He pulled out a piece of paper from the red goblet. "ALICE OUR HEADGIRL!"

"Will Alice please come onto stage?" inquired Moony seeing as the other two were busy soothing their outraged fangirls as they attempted to attack Alice.

Alice walked onto the stage.

"Thank You. But what should I do now I'm up here?" asked Alice.

"Well, first you have to choose whether to hear from either James or Sirius, to be fair, choose a number between 1 to 10" said Moony.

"Err, OK. 7." replied Alice.

"7 will be... JAMES!" said Moony to the crowd.

"Okey, Well the 1st How NOT to is Don't look like Wormtail no matter what. If your a guy, NEVER shake with fright. But if your a girl guys think it's cute.Most of the time." said Prongs to both Alice and the crowd.

-Insert Cry Of Protest from the crowd-  
**  
YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT!!?**

**AHHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

"No. 2 Do not be arrogant if your like my _dear_ friend Snivelus, that is greasyhaired, not good at athletic things. snot-nosed git, Hence my message is Don't be arrogant unless there is somethin' to be proud of." yelled Prongs.

"But you still shoudn't be arrogant Prongs." chided Moony, but went ignored seeing as nobody could hear him from the laughter coming from the crowd.

"No. 3 Do not be straight forward, be subtle, but not too subtle till your crush misses it."

"Yeah, Prongsies if your form of subtle is "HEY LILY! WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?" I hate to see what would happen to you if Lily saw you being straight forward." snickered Padfoot.

"Oi padfoot my part now!" yelled back Prongs.

"So? It's a show by us BOTH. Meaning I can interrupt." Retorted Padfoot.

"No, It doesn't."

" Would you _please_ continue this before I snap?" asked Alice _politely._

"Er... Okay Now, No. 4 Do not use offensive language when you ask them out OR during the _date."_ continued Prongs, who was being extra careful not to anger their beloved headgirl, Alice.

"Yup, Very true, Prongsie. In other words do not swear using the words like As-Beep , F- Toot,Bit-Honk etc.etc."

"And that concludes today's _lovely _Episode of **How & How NOT to ask out your crush.**Thank you for watching guys and girls!" said Moony. (Oppsies, almost typed Moody XD)

_Hajimari Itsumou sou gunjou no sora no shita,_

_Chikaii tatete ima boku wa arukidasu._

_Yah, kin'iro ni hikaru sabaku (moeru kaze)_

_DAIA no hana wo sagashite-_

A cookie to anyone who can either : (anyone who succeeds will be given something special.) 

A) translate this

B) Name it

C) Continue another line

Don''t flame me, I burn easily!

Ja Ne, Jao


End file.
